מסימת הכביסה/The Laundry Mission

So, I'm sitting here in the communal TV room/library, waiting for my laundry to finish washing. After that, it will go into the dryer for an hour (old dryer), at least, those things that can be dried will go into the dryer. When I say 'things that can be dried', I don't mean everything but things that say 'do not dry' on the label. I mean everything but things that matter if they shrink - because EVERYTHING shrinks in this dryer: pants (I thought I was getting fat, even as I was going to the gym every day, but it turns out my pants suffered the same fate as my shirts), shirts (as mentioned), camisols, sweaters (or jersies as my South African roommate calls them, or jumpers as the Australians and English call them), and clothing in general. So, what do I actually put in the dryer? Hm...come to think of it, I'm not sure.

Amongst my current group of fabulous friends, there exists a word that we use to describe the process of doing one's laundry: m'see'ma. It means 'mission' in Hebrew. As in, "Why is it such a bloody mission to do laundry here?!"
Allow me to describe the process of succeeding to do laundry here:
1. Sort clothing. If you're lazy like me, or if you only wish to participate in said mission for a couple of hours, then you put everything together but the real delicates, which you hand washed in the sink a few days ago.
2. Remember to take ID card downstairs. This is to give to the guard who will give you the key in exchange for said card.
3. Take laundry downstairs.
4. Remember after you get to the bottom floor (two floors down) that you left your laundry card for the machines upstairs.
5. Go upstairs to get said laundry card. Take a few shekels with you to put on card in machine near front door.
6. Go downstairs to get laundry and put money on card.
7. Walk outside, get halfway to guard stand and realize you forgot to put money on card.
8. Go back inside and put money on card.
9. Go back outside to the guard stand at entrance to ulpan and open the window, sheepishly showing the guard your laundry, hoping to god he has the key.
10. Guard points to someone else's card, who has gotten there before you and who has said key (there's only one key. God knows why, don't even ask me why there is only one key).
11. Recognize said key-snatcher and spend up to five hours tracking them down (Usually it doesn't take five hours, although I personally experienced needing to do laundry when someone had taken the key into town with them. They returned the next morning. I was angry.). Thank God, tonight it took but two minutes to find pretty Brazilian key-snatcher.
12. Enter laundry room with coveted key (usually, when someone gets the key, their friends - surprise - get it next and next and so on). Put laundry in machine. Reach for laundry soap. Groan. As usual, you have left the soap in your room, two stories up.
13. Go to other building. Go inside. Go upstairs. Retrieve renegade, loner laundry soap and some fabric softener sheets. Return to laundry room. Two hours and one cardio workout later, begin washing laundry.
14. Return 45 minutes later (the washer should be done by now). Wait for five minutes until laundry stops.
15. Move wet laundry from washer to dryer. Some falls on the dirty floor. You wipe it off, but the stain remains.
16. Begin dryer. Put it in for an hour. Remind yourself to come back in 40 minutes, to prevent clothing catching fire or coming out as baby-wear.
17. Return to take clothes. They're hot and burn your fingers (ouch!). You take them back to your room, lay them out to cool, collapse on your bed and try to motivate yourself to work, study, do something productive!!
No wonder I don't get anything done!

Be entertained

Here's a silly game with which I just wasted about 45 minutes. At least it entertained me; hopefully it will entertain you.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?


So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...just type it in!
Opening credits: Blue World – Moody Blues
Not quite the way I would start it, but this is a game, right?

Waking up: Ironic – Alanis Morissette
Waking up is a little ironic sometimes.

First day at school: Ancient Power – Eastern Arts Project
Yeah, baby!

Falling in love: Lady Marmalade – Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Maya & Pink
Hehe

Losing virginity: Freedom Theme – James Horner (From Braveheart)
No comment

Fight song: Lo Chashuv (Never Mind) – Sarit Hadad
Yeah, never mind. “Seek peace, and pursue it”.

Break up: Light in Your Eyes – Sheryl Crow
What’s that crazy light in your eyes? I don’t like it! I want a divorce!

Prom: Dispatch the Troops - Matisyahu
I personally think this one should be switched with the ‘fight song’.

Life: Los Angeles – SUGARCULT
This is actually my favorite work out song, and I try to work out every day. So, I guess this fits.

Mental Breakdown: Blue and Sentimental – Count Basie
Are you lonesome tonight? Okay, I’m depressed, I’ll stop now.

Driving: Close My Eyes – Matisyahu
And none too safe, either.

Flashback: Lead Me On – Teena Marie
Classic ‘80s song from Top Gun. “…Victim of a dream and a memory/ When I try to break free, you say to me, ‘ Come on and lead me on’”.

Getting back together: Back to You – Faith Hill
“…Only thing I know for sure is, I should have never let you go…” Sorry, once I say goodbye for good, that’s it (most of the time).

Wedding: Mouth on Fire – Duncan Sheik
Again, no comment. Not really sure where that came from. Didn’t even know this song existed.

Birth of a child: Soul Sacrifice – Santana
This will take some psychological analysis, which I will spare you. Very scary. Every heard of the tophet in Carthage? Ben Hinnon vally and Molech in Jerusalem? Let’s not even go there.

Final battle: Trashin’ the Camp – Phil Collins
That’s right. Fun and games trashing the ‘camp’.

Death scene: Heaven Help Us All – Ray Charles & Gladys Knight
When I die, I’m goin’ to that castle in the sky….or something like that.

Funeral song: Romeo & Juliet – Dire Straits
Perfect. It all makes sense now. I’m going to fall in love with the son of my family’s rivals, and we’ll kill ourselves and go down in a blaze of tragic glory. Very romantic.

End Credits: The Time of Your Life – Randy Newman (From ‘A Bug’s Life’ soundtrack)
Like I said, it’s all about having fun – well-mannered frivolity, that is.

Pesach and Another Immigrant Moment

So it seems that I have an international following. Know what that means? It means my parents and grandparents are not the only people who read my blog! Okay, so the people who have stopped by once from Tunisia, Australia, Costa Rica, Warsaw and Turkey probably don't come back to check up on me every other day...but let's not put a damper on the excitement that I have an international following.
This week, Pesach starts. Seder night is Monday night, and this begins, among other things, a week of matza, a week without bread, pasta, rice (if you're Ashkenazi) and carbs in general. Pesach is an Atkins dieter's dream. No carbs, just meat, fish, fruit and veggies, and a lot of this thing we call 'the bread of affliction'. There's a joke I heard from my beloved Rabbi in Eugene: "Want to know why it's called 'the bread of affliction?' Try eating it for a week. Then you'll understand".
This may not be that funny to people who've never experienced this, but for the rest of us....I know you're out there, and I know you understand. See, matza is simply a baked mixture of flour and water. It has no fiber WHATSOEVER. So, take a lesson from the veterans and experts (of which I am not yet one) and eat A LOT of prunes, dried apricots and other things to help you go along on your way.
This will be an interesting week for me, because, although I was in Israel for Pesach in 2003, I was basically stuck on a moshav without a car and severely lacking in Hebrew skills. I was very much an outsider. Today, I am less so, but today I am a part of this place, just like this place is a part of me. Despite the fact that I can't read the newspaper (most of it anyway), I don't understand the news on the TV, much less on the radio, and in general have NO IDEA of what's going on around me...I'm making it.
Speaking of not understanding what's going on, last weekend a few friends and I were in Tel Aviv. We laid on the beach all day Saturday, and I got a massive sunburn on one side of my body (turning is essential), complete with BIG raccoon eyes. Anyway, that's not the point. On Saturday night, we caught a cab from the beach area to the Central Bus Station to hop on a bus back to Jerusalem. Maya, Yonit and their friend got in the back seat, and I took the front. When I got in, the door was a little hard to close, like the car had been hit at some point in the past...I said something about this to the driver, in Hebrew ("The door is broken" = הדלת מקולקלת). So, he responds with a long monologue about something. Anyway, I though that I understood what he was saying - something about how he needed to get it fixed and how he wouldn't forget, etc. So I responded with: "It's not so bad. It still closes".
His look was priceless. He had NO IDEA what I was talking about.
"Ma?" "What?"
So I repeated it, in perfect Hebrew.
"Eich?" "What?"
Apparently what I said had absolutely NO RELATION to whatever he had been talking about, so I just shut my mouth and relegated the experience to one of the many idiot, oops! I mean immigrant moments and laughed at myself.
I'm sure there will be many more where that came from.
Okay, time to go to the gym. This will be a tough night. I haven't been to the gym in a while. Mother Miriam, say tehillim for me......

Ain't It Purty?

I can't believe it...after all that, it's finally here. I am so happy!
For those of you who have never owned a mac, and for those of you who have but have never been forcibly separated from your beloved mac, I will try to explain this to you. Until yesterday, I was left without my mac for over a month. I was going through withdrawals, foaming at the mouth, having seizures...I almost didn't survive....almost. I was like a photographer without a camera, a lifeguard without a whistle, a freelance writer without a pen and paper. I was a freelance writer without a medium. Awful. And then the day came. That glorious day of my salvation, when I picked up the phone and heard that sweet voice on the other end:
"Ronit?"
"Yes"
"Your laptop is here and ready. You can come pick it up."
"Really?"
"Really."
I about died when I heard that. I. about. died.
So here it is, my new baby; she is going to help me make a lot of money too.

I would like to formally, although not finally, thank my grandparents - the Scheyer gma and gpa, and my gma Chandler. They saw I was in distress and helped generously and benevolently, and especially at this time when I needed them the most. Thank you.
One more view:

Working Hard

I am officially a freelance writer, although not yet published.
Yay!
I am working, part time, on my own time really, for a Online Travel Publication - TripCart.com, writing up an enormously large project, detailing almost everything you would ever want to know when traveling to the Oregon Coast.
The bad news: there is none, really, except maybe the lack of guarrantee of income/payment. One word - freelance.
The good news: there is no bad news. Better than that, I work on my schedule, I set my deadlines (with pushes from my editor, who is a real 'ball breaker'- exactly what I need) and I'm working with a subject about which I know a lot already and will be an expert on before I'm finished.
Lastly, it's my first real job in Israel, and....I don't even need the Hebrew for it.
Just say yes to income....
Well, that's all for now.
Must go to work so I have something to turn into the editor tomorrow.

Purim...again, Dead Sea, and Why I Live in Israel

One of the pics I tried to post earlier. Jacqui (roommate) and I at the purim party. I'm on the right, in case you didn't know.

Maya and I at the Dead Sea:

Charlie's Angels wannabe:


Why I live in Israel:

I am hugging a Roman-era pillar found in the Cardo area of the Old City in Jerusalem. This is a representation of one of the main reasons I moved to Israel - the history, the archaeology, the incredible things that have happened in this place of which I now get to be a part. I am another link in the chain. I love that. That's the smile on my face, from deep within.

A Lesson in Empowerment

Per my last post, I would like to say a few things about UYO - Understanding Yourself and Others, the course I took a couple of weeks ago.
I first heard about the course while reading a woman's blog that I frequented before making aliyah. She is a new oleh herself (or was a newbie like me at some point - now a veteran relative to me) and described the course as 'the weekend that changed my life'. Okay, I was interested, although skeptical. Changing my life in one weekend? Hm....not so much.
I then read an article she had written about the course and was inspired that this might actually be something worthwhile. So, being the adventure-seeker that I am, I signed up for the course.
I arrived Wednesday evening nervous, afraid and self-conscious, with all of my well-developed defenses operating at full power. Our first order of business was an exercise centering around our attitudes and defense levels. The instructors began engaging individual students in simple conversations to determine whether the student was 'in learning' or 'in protection'. Learning, they explained, allows us to be open to an absorb any new information or ideas into our minds and hearts. Protection, you might imagine, does the opposite; it is an important mode of defense that we use to protect ourselves at key moments. Neither protection nor learning is better or worse than the other. There's really no need to put a value judgment on either of them. The point was to make sure that we were, first of all, aware of which mode we were operating in at any given moment, and, second of all, to make sure that we could be in learning at that moment, which was the best place to be in order to get the most we could out of the course - for ourselves.
The real purpose of the course was just what the title suggests, but much more - to peel off the layers of pain, rejection (my hold up) and mistaken beliefs that we have formulated about ourselves, the world and our place in it and to begin to see ourselves in all of our magnificence, power and potential so that we can better fulfill our vision for the world.
The course is structured so that it does not end until every student feels 'complete', like they have gotten out of the course what they came to get out of it. This was a different thing for everyone, but everyone left with a feeling of real personal empowerment and a real connection to themselevs and other people.
Without providing too much detail, I experienced and completed some real breakthroughs within myself in relation to my brother and myself, which had been real hold ups for me for as long as I can remember. The instructors created an intention for me: "Expect the best - you will create it". The hit home. I realized, first of all, that, although I consider myself a very intuitive and 'in touch' person, these people could intuit and see parts of me better than I could and, second of all that I really truly believed, with everything in me, that at some point these good things that were happening to me were going to fall apart. I believed that, eventually, no matter how good things were going, the bottom was going to fall out, that I was going to fail, that my life was going to blow up in a big mushroom cloud of nuclear destruction. Great outlook on life, huh?
The thing is, this belief that I had was not connected in any way to reality. I was helped to see that this was simply a mistaken belief that I had formulated when I was growing up, connected to some experience I had. the truth is, kids are great at feeling things and experiencing things but lousy at interpreting them. I had simply misinterpreted some experience that I had had and held on to that belief deep inside, whether it served me or not, or even whether I was conscious of it or not.
With this in mind, it was not revolutionary to figure out what to do next - find out where the belief came from and change it. What was revolutionary was actually changing it.
The instructors took one of my earliest memories, which, for the sake of your time and mine I will not go into here, and recreated it. It was painful; I allowed myself to go back there, to feel the pain that I had felt. I literally felt like I was back in that place. We recreated the experience with a role play, and then they did something I was not expecting. The instructors set up the same experience but simply tweaked the ending, which turned the experience from one of pain and rejection to one of love and acceptance and friendship. I was in shock. I literally felt as if I was back there again and that the situation was different. I really was loved; I really was accepted. It really is true. It is amazing.
All it took, honestly, was altering reality in my head. Yes, I know this sounds like a cult or something, but if you think about it it really makes sense. Every day, with every experience we have, we develop some belief about the world and where we stand in it. Could it be possible that we are creating an alternate reality in our heads that doesn't actually exist? What if we could create a happy reality in our heads? Just a thought.....
This was, at the surface level, the beginning of the jist of my UYO experience. Of course, there is so much more, especially stuff that I am still processing today. I am truly beginning to see my own magnificence. I never had any problem seeing the amazing qualities of my fellow human beings, but BELIEVING myself to be a brilliant, fabulous and powerful person...this is new. And I am loving it. I am loving that sweet, innocent, witty, gorgeous little girl that still lives passionately within me, the one with all the potential for changing the world. I am loving that this same sweet, beautiful girl is me.
I wish you all an excellent day and, for my jewish readers, a peaceful shabbat.