Winter, Winter, Go Away...And Don't Come Back

I'm snowed in.

I've got no motivation, no energy and no desire to do anything but sit on my butt and watch TV.

I watched Enemy of the State and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and it's only nine o'clock. Now I'm watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The funny, weird, psycho one with Johnny Depp. My favorite line is when he says, "Everything in this room is eat-able. Even I am eat-able. But that is called cannibalism, children, and it's frowned upon in most societies."

So, I know that I could be reading a book or doing something productive...But I've been sucked into the capitalist consumerism of the post-modern boob-tube filled American superpower world. (There I go again, blaming someone, or something else, for my problems.)

Anyway, maybe we all just need a day to sit around and vegg.

Any maybe I'm just lazy.

I hate winter.

Blue Moo, No More Bored

I'm really into the blue today. Can you tell?

I wonder if there's some rule as to how often you can change your blog colors and still maintain some semblance of continuity. I wonder if you're not supposed to change it at all.

I just get bored with the same colors and designs all the time. Is that so bad?

I used to get bored with life too. I believed that it was 'someone else's' responsibility to entertain me, to pique my interest, not realizing that that 'someone else' was supposed to be me. But thank goodness I finally realized that. Imagine spending every day waiting for someone to bring excitement into your life, waiting for someone to introduce you to new things AND to make sure that you're excited by those new things. It doesn't work very well, it's a very sad way to live and it creates incredible strain on relationships.

Because I subconsciously believed that everyone else in my life was responsible for making my life interesting, I was like a leech. Leeches suck their hosts dry and give nothing back, which is what I was doing by not contributing my part in the relationship.

Now I'm rarely bored with life - and if I begin to 'feel bored,' instead of lamenting the boringness of my life and depressing myself over the fact that my life is so boring, I remind myself that, if I think my life is boring, then I'm not doing enough to keep myself engaged with the fascinating moments of every day.

Being bored also comes out of an assumption about this moment. It assumes that this moment is devoid of possibility, that is the same as the last moment and that I have no control over my circumstances or the future.

If we are bored (or angry, or depressed, insert any emotion), it is because we choose to be bored.

And if we can't control our emotions, we must be addicted to them.

There's food for thought.

Kling-Ons

Ok, I freely admit that I don't have that much experience in the dating game. I usually dump boys after a couple of dates when I realize how immature and wrong for me they are.

So when I say I'm having a little trouble interpreting this one, I admit that it may very well be my lack of experience.

In the last 24 hours, I've received at least 30 text messages from a guy I've been on two dates with -- that's three times I've actually laid eyes on him in my entire life. Two of those text messages asked me, in order, do I want kids, and can I do a long-distance relationship.

Is it just me or is this a little strange? Is it normal to ask someone if they want to have kids after the second date AND THEN ask them if they can handle a long-distance relationship?

Granted, I am moving to Portland next weekend, which means if we want to continue seeing each other, it will take a lot more effort, but isn't it a little early to be talking about a 'relationship?' Don't people usually do a long-distance thing AFTER they've already established a relationship?

And I know that it normally takes me a long time to get 'attached.' I can break up with someone after a month and not be sad at all, and, while I admit that's not an entirely admirable quality to boast about, this guy's 'clinginess' is really turning me off.

Chauvinism's Posterboy

Ever hear of a men's rights party?

Neither had I, until I came across this article in the Israeli news source Yedioth Aharonoth, quoting the party's leader as saying that "Feminists are destroying [the] country."

Now, don't get me wrong. I believe we should support our brothers as much as our sisters, and I love men as much as the next woman, but I can think of about twenty things off the top of my head that would come before the advocation of women's rights in the list of things that are destroying Israel.

The army? The rightists? Olmert? Corruption? Crippling bureaucracy?

In a developed nation in which women still on average make less money than men for the same amount of work, in which there are religious women who are stuck single because their husbands refuse to give them a divorce and in which prostitution and violence against the fairer sex are rampant, it's no surprise that this party has tried for years to get the votes from the people it needs for seats in the parliament - and has consistently failed.

"I'm not against women but nature has rules: The man should be on top, there should not be equality," the party chairman said, as quoted by ynet.

He says he's not a chauvinist, but unless I'm mistaken, he's a good candidate for being elected chauvinism's posterboy.

Free Stuff is Still Stuff...But it's Free!!!

I'm so excited! I just mailed my request to get FREE GMAIL STICKERS!!!

Ok, ok, I know. Who cares? And, like my former editor always said, free sh#@ is still sh#@. But, Danielle, I would say, it's FREE!

Anyway, I'm excited about getting the stickers -- and all it cost me was the two stamps to mail the envelopes.....

Wait a minute...

That wasn't free at all!!!

Photo courtesy of the Official Gmail Blog.

The Success of Instinct -- and Unclear "Date" Status

Wow, what a looong day. I can't believe it's only 6 pm. I swear it's already midnight and I'm really up waaay past my bedtime.

The Mom and I got up early this morning and drove to Portland for my meeting with a new potential client. The good news is, despite having forgotten to print out any writing samples or a copy of my resume, he wants me to do some work for him, editing a marketing booklet that he's put together. Always exciting to have the prospect of income when you've got none.

This client is the one I met in a bar - a fact that I love. Although this may seem quite normal, I'm trying to train myself not to take the little "normal" things in life for granted. I think the circumstances and the timing are more than mere coincidence - which I don't believe in anyway - and are a prime example of the vast realm of possibilities surrounding us every moment of every day.

Many of us think we are confined into certain situations and ways of life because "that's just the way it is," and we don't realize that there is an infinite number of possibilities if we would only open our eyes and minds and see them. For example, when I met this client, I had just arrived back in Oregon, had gone up to Portland to pick up the Best Friend from work and was walking with her to catch the bus. We turned the corner, walked past this restaurant/bar, and she said she had always wanted to try it. So we stopped, thought about it, and walked in. Next thing we know, we're sitting at the bar, having drinks bought for us, and I have a potential client for freelance writing.

Simple coincidence? Unlikely. I found exactly what I was looking for - a work opportunity and a very good professional contact - exactly when I needed it, when I followed my instinct and walked into what some would call an unlikely place for a "divine" encounter.


After the preceding long detour and moral story, Mom and I went and filled out an application with the Portland Renters Service. They run background and credit checks on potential renters on behalf of landlords. Apparently if you're a convicted felon - even if you've been out of trouble for 20 years - they won't rent to you. I guess I'll have to find some place to put that kid I took last year. Is kidnapping a felony?

Lastly, we drove over to the SW Community Center and Pool, where I should be able to start lifeguarding (grimace) after I finish my E&A guarding course in a couple of weeks. Boy, that's going to be a fun one - sitting through an entire four-day course on how to do something that I've been doing for six years, all because I have a certification through the Red Cross and not Ellis & Associates, which Portland uses. Can't they just teach me how they do spinals differently? Apparently not...

Wish me luck on that one, and let the boredom begin!

Once I'm enlightened, maybe I'll realize an infinite realm of possibility even in something like that.

OH! I almost forgot the most important part of the day. We went out to lunch with the Best Friend at this killer Lebanese restaurant called Habibi. It's on 10th and Madison downtown in P-town. We had the ground beef kebab (ketsitsot in Hebrew) on seasoned rice, with salad and really yummy turkish coffee and baklava for dessert.

Having lived in the Middle East, my standards for food claiming to be from that area are quite high, and I am proud to say that Habibi tasted VERY authentic.

Now I'm going to call the boy and see if I can't reschedule our "date"** to coffee tomorrow morning. Is that totally horrible? I'm just so fried! And I'd rather see him when I'm at 100% and not when I'm fighting just to stay awake - especially when this is only "date" number 2.

**Status of meetings unclear. Could be date, could be casual. He's been texting A LOT. Does that make it more serious? Is there some kind of booklet that will tell me this kind of stuff? Where is it?

Sore...And Happy

Just went and worked out. It felt so good.
Especially when I'm really busy, I resist going to exercise, thinking that I'd prefer to stay home and keep working. But I find that once I actually go and loosen my mind and move my body, I become ten times more productive once I come back to the work.
I don't know what it is - maybe the simple, rhythmic movement of my feet on the treadmill, the blood pumping faster through my system, the rapid breathing and increased oxygen flow to my brain. I do know physiologically that when we work out, our bodies release endorphins to address the stress to our muscles, and I know this is proven to lift the mood, but I always forget and keep resisting the workout.
But, DEAR LORD, it feels so good.

I have a meeting in Portland tomorrow morning with Tim Phillips, the CEO and founder of Phillips & Co., a local wealth management firm. I originally met him and his "guys" (employees) at a bar Jena and I went to near her work in downtown Portland. She and I were sitting pretty at the bar, and the bartender came over to us and, as if we were in a movie, said very suave-ly that the gentlemen at the corner of the bar wanted to buy us drinks.
Those gentlemen happened to be the core of this firm for which the CEO now wants me to do some freelance marketing writing. So we chatted and charmed, and I got a gig out of it.

It's very exciting! Money! More experience! Woohoo!

So I'm going to meet with Tim tomorrow to discuss the details.

Wish me luck!