AHHHHH!

I'm getting a bit stressed here.

OK, so I'm getting really stressed and scared and nervous. I know, I know. I'm supposed to be tough and fearless. After all, I conquered Tel Aviv, didn't I?

I have a major Math midterm tomorrow that I have just now begun reviewing for, major because I was so sick for the first one and did so poorly on it that I absolutely have to do well on this one. My instructor opts to drop our lowest midterm score (don't ask me why there is more than one MIDterm, since the very essence of the word implies ONE exam in the MIDdle of the TERM - that's ALWAYS bugged me), which I'm sure he thinks is very nice and generous of him, but it also means that if you're super sick for one of them, you have no leeway on the other ones.

I wouldn't be exagerating if I said that my math skills are hara (sh*t in Hebrew - actually pronounced with the guttural ch at the back of the throat, like CHAra; it's a very phonetic and sounds exactly like what it is). Maybe they're not all that bad, but they're at least as rusty as an old Model-T that has sat through a century of NW rain. My math skills have always been one of those things we don't talk about. We know it's bad, but we just leave it at that.

Bio, on the other hand, is fascinating and, despite my B in the class right now, is actually something I think I'll be pretty good at once I get further into the field. Unfortunately, I'd like to commit ritual biology suicide in my lab right now (don't question the analogy, just go with it). I have an absolutely HUGE, DAUNTING and TERRIFYING lab paper due on Friday and I, the fearless world conquerer, am getting scared.

Yes, I have started it. Yes, I have talked to the instructor about it. But it's really freaking me out. Mostly because with work and other classes I actually have NO TIME TO DO IT. Basically, 30 minutes tonight, an hour tomorrow between class and work, and a few hours in the morning on Thursday before work is all I have. Can someone please tack on a few more hours to this week???

I'm not the only one freaking out. One of my lab group members actually sent out an email to the class today, which read, "This is basically a desperate cry for help... I've been struggling with this paper for a while..."

I have no idea what's going to happen. I could sacrifice sleep, but we all know that doesn't happen, ever. It's just not an option. No way, jose.

Deep breaths.....

Onward.

Image courtesy of http://spiritualtravelman.wordpress.com/ whether he likes it or not.

It'SNot What You Think

Among the less well-know casualties of teaching swimming lessons to little tykes are internal bleeding and black eyes from getting kicked in various places while teaching (what else?) kicking; severely itchy skin from sitting in a bath of chlorine for more than two hours a day; and getting sick.

The first one I haven't experienced in years, but the second two continue to plague me.

Why would you get sick from being around kids in a pool? You might ask.. It's not like in daycare where, if they don't wash their hands every five minutes, the group of preschoolers becomes a veritable incubus of viral plague. You're in chlorine. It should kill it all.
You know what? It should, but it doesn't.
On the contrary.
See, when these little kids (of whom I have over 20 on Mondays and Wednesdays and over 30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays) are swimming - doing various kicking exercises with a floatie stick to support their arms or trying desperately to swim front crawl - and come up for air, it's usually right in my face.

And what goes right in my face when they come up for air? Spit, sneezing, coughing, snot, water etc.

I know. Really gross.

There were a few specific instances last week when the kid came up for air and spit, just as I was opening my mouth to say something, and the spit went right in my mouth. Not a loogie (sp?) or anything like that. Just a full spray-blast of water and other unknowns from their mouth and into mine, complete with all the little bacteria and viral yuckies (that's a technical term) that come along with little kids.

Now you wonder why I'm sick?

Oh yeah, maybe it's also because of my schedule - working 35 hrs/week on top of school. But I prefer to blame it on the spit.

Photo courtesy of http://nhsblogdoc.blogspot.com/

Career Bay-watch-er

Just a little update, since I can't seem to be able to pull myself away from my beloved Macbook and the NYTimes and thought I might as well do something useful in the meantime.

Tomorrow will see my first official shift guarding at the SW Pool and Community Center. I'm excited - for the work, not for the life guarding.

Lifeguarding for me is like the old, wrinkled shirt you have to wear because it's time to do laundry and you didn't plan well enough to have time to do it before you had to wear the old wrinkled shirt (or the old, non-date-worthy, haven't-seen-the-light-of-day-in-six-months underwear). We didn't plan very well, and the economy is like my overdue laundry, and lifeguarding is that old, wrinkled shirt that I have to wear because there's just nothing better lying around in this walk-in closet known as my life.

It's generally boring, hot, humid, mind-numbing work. Not like Baywatch. Nothing like Baywatch. In fact, the most exciting thing that will happen tomorrow (with any luck) will be a bloody nose from some lap swimmer getting kicked in the face by an aqua jogger lady or maybe the pH level in the pool will be too high and I'll have to go back in the labyrinthine mechanical room and flip a switch.

Still, it's not all bad.

It's a paycheck. It's sitting in my bathing suit for hours on end. It's getting to swim and workout for free anytime I want at a very nice, yuppie facility (free yoga and pilates, free cardio and weights etc). It's getting a free water bottle. It's getting an intimate look (and smell) at some little tyke's breakfast... Ok, this is going downhill fast.

Oh, and I just realized I have a math midterm this week. SH********************************T! So much for planning ahead...

Really? Oh dear...

Wow, so...long time no post. Yeah, yeah, I know. I've been busy. Alright?

I didn't realize until I surfed on over to my own blog how long it's been since my last post. When I saw the last post I knew I had to update you right away.

So, the roommate situation didn't work out.

That's an understatement.

The roommate situation was a veritable disaster.

I'm quite proud of myself for the way I handled it, emotionally, logistically. You know sometimes you wonder if you're making any progress at all in being a better person and working on your "stuff?" This was one of those situations that showed me that I have. One of the few good things that came out of it.

Anyway. The last time I posted, I had just moved into a three bedroom house in SW Portland. I found the room listing on Craigslist. After telling one of my uncles about my roommate disaster, he said something to the tune of, 'That's your problem. Don't you know that? Only idiots use Craigslist."

Well, that may not be entirely true, and there may be some perfectly lovely, normal, intelligent people who post things on Craigslist. Unfortunately, I didn't find one of them.

Soon after moving in, it was clear that the situation was not going well. I'm not going to list all of the things that happened, because, frankly I'm tired of talking/thinking about them. There was something neurotic with some ugly towels she had hanging in the kitchen that NO ONE was allowed to use. (What else do you put towels in the kitchen for, people?) There was something else with three big and extremely ill-mannered pooches, with whom I was perfectly comfortable - just not in my room, in my stuff, in my way ALL THE TIME. So I told the dogs to move (so they wouldn't eat my shoes) and get out of my way (so I wouldn't fall down the stairs) and shut up (so they would stop barking so loud) one too many times and the roommate got pissed off. She said only SHE was allowed to talk to them like dogs. (Yeah, but you don't lady. That's why someone else HAS to.)

She told me "I just don't see how it's going to work. There's too many things."

I said, "Are you trying to tell me you want me to move out?"

"Yes, yes, that's what I mean."

"I'd like to try to work it out. I don't think you're being fair."

Hesitation, "OK."

But I've yet to mention the weirdest and most appalling aspect of this whole situation (appalling to me anyway).

In the midst of a very long and tense conversation about her wanting me to move out, she had the audacity to say, "You know, I'm a Christian. I believe in Jesus. I believe that's the only way to salvation, and I can't have someone living in the same house going around blessing things all the time. It's just too much different-ness. You know that not everything in this house is blessed."

In other words, judenraus!

Her euphanism for "Jew, get out of my house" was "I just can't have someone living in the same house going around blah blah blah."

Really?

Like, really?

You really think it's OK to think that and say things like that to people?

A friend of mine had a humorous take on the situation.

This girls is so wacky that she belongs on an episode from Seinfeld or Friends - she is truly comic material. The good news is that you're not living with her. If she's this way that soon into the roommate relationship, imagine what would happen over time.

I'd say her response to you is pretty unfathomable. She may really just dislike Jews that much. If so, why didn't she raise this issue sooner?

Perhaps one of her church friends just recently told her how dangerous we are. (Haha)
But it could be something totally different - some screw got knocked loose in her brain so that she just needed to get you out of her life, and she made up the psycho Christian story as a cover. Maybe you remind her of the sister with whom she's had a lifelong, bitter rivalry. (Oh, sad.)
Maybe she developed an immediate crush on you, and doesn't want to admit that she's gay. (Hahaha)
Maybe she got a new boyfriend and wants him to live in your room. For any of these reasons, she didn't want to tell you the truth, so a religious lie was easier. Who knows?! The good news is, you're outta there, safe and sound.

Although she agreed to "give it a try," I called her the next morning and told her I'd be out by the end of the week. I was just so appalled I didn't quite know what to say.

Fortunately, my aunt and uncle were kind enough to let me crash at their place in Beaverton until I could move into my new place, which I did two weekends ago.

I have to say. After all of this crap, after moving almost five times in the last three months, after being told I couldn't stay in someone's house because I'm Jewish, I am SO HAPPY to have my own place. No psycho roommates, no ill-mannered pets, no nonsense.

Now I'm just waiting for my life to return to some semblance of normality. Trying to pass math, working hard in Bio, re-certing in life guarding, planning my next trek to Israel.

For, with love, all things are possible.

On December 21, I (un)officially moved into my new digs in P-town. I currently have one roommate (the third girl moves in next week), who, on her own, has three large dogs and one little feisty cat. The cat, named Ethel (sp?) has an insatiable obsession with my bed, claws me and whines whenever I try to move her and is at this moment walking back and forth across my laptop, begging for attention.

The cat's ok. While roomie #1 (henceforth known as R1 to protect her identity) was away in Kentucky for the holidays, the cat and I bonded. I like to think this little claw-er / biter / spitter actually genuinely likes me. But I know it's just because I'm in the room she likes. She has a thing for laying on top of ANYTHING that's lying around -- whether it's my book on top of my bed, the pillow next to my head while I'm sleeping, my bathrobe on the bathroom counter -- then she looks up at me with this look that says, "I'm the queen here, and don't you forget it."

The weekend I moved in, Portland was in the midst of a veritable blizzard (from which I had to be rescued twice). Thus, we moved in in such a frenzied hurry, that we left a couple of marks on the walls and some crumbs on the counter. Oh yeah, and we also used the towels in the kitchen to wipe some stuff up from the counter.

This wasn't a big deal - or at least it wouldn't have been had the following incident not occurred. On our way up to Portland, we figured out that we wouldn't arrive in time for R1 to be there when we showed up, as she had to work. So she said she'd leave a key and kennel the dogs "because I'm concerned about them not knowing you - they're very protective of the house," she said (or texted actually).

In the midst of the move, and having seen the two big dogs stuck in their sorry cold cage in the garage, I texted R1 asking her if I could "let the dogs out because they look sad." "Yes," she replied. "If you could let them out to go poddy (sic) that would be great."

Now, we weren't even speaking a foreign language here, but something got lost in translation. We (me, parents, bf's hubby) all assumed (when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME) that she meant we could let them out period. As in, we don't have to kennel them anymore, because they're not going to bite us. That was the original reason for kenneling them. Right?

Wrong.

Oh, how very wrong I was.

I was set to be snowed in with the Best Friend that night and the following night, so we let the dogs go potty, left them in the house and went on our way.

That night, I got a call from R1.

"Did you let the dogs out?"

Duh.

"Yes...Was I not supposed to?"

"I always keep them kenneled."

"Oh, I'm sorry. It was a mis-communication. I feel terrible."

"There is pee and poop EVERYWHERE."

"Wow. Really....?"

Actually, this is the short version of a 30-minute long conversation with R1, consisting mostly of apologies and damage control for something that was a simple misunderstanding. I felt bad, really. But I was more upset about not being able to fix it and not being able to prove that I wasn't some irresponsible wack-job roommate who was set to cause her more anguish than her previous one did (if that's possible).

So I decided to make good.

While she was in Kentucky, I vacuumed the ENTIRE house -- and let me tell you, it was disgusting; three dirt containter empties disgusting -- and washed all the windows and dusted the living room and cleaned the kitchen.

Ok, so really, I don't have a life. But she was so happy, so incredibly happy. Not just that the house was cleaned, but that I had proved that I am who I say I am. And I'm not a psycho wack-job. And I didn't just do it because I wanted her to like me (I'm not a fan of drowning in pet hair), although showing her love was a big part of it.

Just goes to show how a little bit of love can go a long way.

Chrisma-Hanu-Kwanzi-kah

So, a bunch of rockets aimed at Israel with timers set to go off Thursday night were found by the Lebanese army patrolling in southern Lebanon (everyone swears Hizbullah is not involved); Santa Claus shot and burned a bunch of revelers at a Christmas Eve party in California; Portland, the city I moved to last weekend, has been turned into a veritable snow globe by the worst winter storm since 1968, or probably earlier; and I'm getting up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to go shopping on one of the most psycho shopping days of the year.

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

I read a story on Black Friday about a bunch of shoppers who got trampled at a Wal-Mart during a pre-Christmas shopping frenzy. One worker was killed, if I remember correctly. Another victim sued, saying that the employees didn't do enough to help the tramplees from the icy snow boots of the tramplers. Fortunately, I'm not going to Wal-Mart tomorrow. UNfortunately, the Mom is. At 6 am.....

So, the big story (embedded in the tale of woe above) is that I moved to Portland last weekend. In the middle of a blizzard. With both the car and truck full of my stuff, we had to stop on the side of I-5 so the Dad could put the chains on (yay Dad!). It took us four hours to make a trip that usually takes an hour and 45 minutes.

After unloading both cars, the Dad and I drove out to Oregon City to pick up a bed I had bought on Craigslist for $65. It took us about two hours round trip (probably takes about 45 mins in normal circumstances).

It was really only worth the incredibly low price I paid for a perfectly decent mattress + box springs + frame, the warm and gooey chocolate chip peanut butter cookies we got from the sellers and the priceless experience of driving through the blazing snow with my dad while listening to Christmas music.

The only problem is, I don't really feel like I've moved to Portland. On Saturday night, which should have been my first night in my new house, I was snowed in with the Best Friend at her apartment -- until Monday afternoon, when we were rescued by her hubby and his dad. The hubby gave me a ride to my house on Monday, through the blizzard, and then my parents came to rescue ME on Tuesday (still snowing) -- so that I wouldn't be stuck alone for the holiday (the one I don't even celebrate).

I don't know about you, but my life is just really weird......

Gonna go light the chanukiah now.

Happy and merry...

A quote for today

When you are inspired by some great purpose,
some extraordinary project,
all your thoughts break their bonds.
Your mind transcends limitations,
your consciousness expands in every direction,
and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world.
Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive,
and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far
than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

--Attributed to the ancient seer, Maharishi Patanjali

Winter, Winter, Go Away...And Don't Come Back

I'm snowed in.

I've got no motivation, no energy and no desire to do anything but sit on my butt and watch TV.

I watched Enemy of the State and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and it's only nine o'clock. Now I'm watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The funny, weird, psycho one with Johnny Depp. My favorite line is when he says, "Everything in this room is eat-able. Even I am eat-able. But that is called cannibalism, children, and it's frowned upon in most societies."

So, I know that I could be reading a book or doing something productive...But I've been sucked into the capitalist consumerism of the post-modern boob-tube filled American superpower world. (There I go again, blaming someone, or something else, for my problems.)

Anyway, maybe we all just need a day to sit around and vegg.

Any maybe I'm just lazy.

I hate winter.

Blue Moo, No More Bored

I'm really into the blue today. Can you tell?

I wonder if there's some rule as to how often you can change your blog colors and still maintain some semblance of continuity. I wonder if you're not supposed to change it at all.

I just get bored with the same colors and designs all the time. Is that so bad?

I used to get bored with life too. I believed that it was 'someone else's' responsibility to entertain me, to pique my interest, not realizing that that 'someone else' was supposed to be me. But thank goodness I finally realized that. Imagine spending every day waiting for someone to bring excitement into your life, waiting for someone to introduce you to new things AND to make sure that you're excited by those new things. It doesn't work very well, it's a very sad way to live and it creates incredible strain on relationships.

Because I subconsciously believed that everyone else in my life was responsible for making my life interesting, I was like a leech. Leeches suck their hosts dry and give nothing back, which is what I was doing by not contributing my part in the relationship.

Now I'm rarely bored with life - and if I begin to 'feel bored,' instead of lamenting the boringness of my life and depressing myself over the fact that my life is so boring, I remind myself that, if I think my life is boring, then I'm not doing enough to keep myself engaged with the fascinating moments of every day.

Being bored also comes out of an assumption about this moment. It assumes that this moment is devoid of possibility, that is the same as the last moment and that I have no control over my circumstances or the future.

If we are bored (or angry, or depressed, insert any emotion), it is because we choose to be bored.

And if we can't control our emotions, we must be addicted to them.

There's food for thought.

Kling-Ons

Ok, I freely admit that I don't have that much experience in the dating game. I usually dump boys after a couple of dates when I realize how immature and wrong for me they are.

So when I say I'm having a little trouble interpreting this one, I admit that it may very well be my lack of experience.

In the last 24 hours, I've received at least 30 text messages from a guy I've been on two dates with -- that's three times I've actually laid eyes on him in my entire life. Two of those text messages asked me, in order, do I want kids, and can I do a long-distance relationship.

Is it just me or is this a little strange? Is it normal to ask someone if they want to have kids after the second date AND THEN ask them if they can handle a long-distance relationship?

Granted, I am moving to Portland next weekend, which means if we want to continue seeing each other, it will take a lot more effort, but isn't it a little early to be talking about a 'relationship?' Don't people usually do a long-distance thing AFTER they've already established a relationship?

And I know that it normally takes me a long time to get 'attached.' I can break up with someone after a month and not be sad at all, and, while I admit that's not an entirely admirable quality to boast about, this guy's 'clinginess' is really turning me off.

Chauvinism's Posterboy

Ever hear of a men's rights party?

Neither had I, until I came across this article in the Israeli news source Yedioth Aharonoth, quoting the party's leader as saying that "Feminists are destroying [the] country."

Now, don't get me wrong. I believe we should support our brothers as much as our sisters, and I love men as much as the next woman, but I can think of about twenty things off the top of my head that would come before the advocation of women's rights in the list of things that are destroying Israel.

The army? The rightists? Olmert? Corruption? Crippling bureaucracy?

In a developed nation in which women still on average make less money than men for the same amount of work, in which there are religious women who are stuck single because their husbands refuse to give them a divorce and in which prostitution and violence against the fairer sex are rampant, it's no surprise that this party has tried for years to get the votes from the people it needs for seats in the parliament - and has consistently failed.

"I'm not against women but nature has rules: The man should be on top, there should not be equality," the party chairman said, as quoted by ynet.

He says he's not a chauvinist, but unless I'm mistaken, he's a good candidate for being elected chauvinism's posterboy.

Free Stuff is Still Stuff...But it's Free!!!

I'm so excited! I just mailed my request to get FREE GMAIL STICKERS!!!

Ok, ok, I know. Who cares? And, like my former editor always said, free sh#@ is still sh#@. But, Danielle, I would say, it's FREE!

Anyway, I'm excited about getting the stickers -- and all it cost me was the two stamps to mail the envelopes.....

Wait a minute...

That wasn't free at all!!!

Photo courtesy of the Official Gmail Blog.

The Success of Instinct -- and Unclear "Date" Status

Wow, what a looong day. I can't believe it's only 6 pm. I swear it's already midnight and I'm really up waaay past my bedtime.

The Mom and I got up early this morning and drove to Portland for my meeting with a new potential client. The good news is, despite having forgotten to print out any writing samples or a copy of my resume, he wants me to do some work for him, editing a marketing booklet that he's put together. Always exciting to have the prospect of income when you've got none.

This client is the one I met in a bar - a fact that I love. Although this may seem quite normal, I'm trying to train myself not to take the little "normal" things in life for granted. I think the circumstances and the timing are more than mere coincidence - which I don't believe in anyway - and are a prime example of the vast realm of possibilities surrounding us every moment of every day.

Many of us think we are confined into certain situations and ways of life because "that's just the way it is," and we don't realize that there is an infinite number of possibilities if we would only open our eyes and minds and see them. For example, when I met this client, I had just arrived back in Oregon, had gone up to Portland to pick up the Best Friend from work and was walking with her to catch the bus. We turned the corner, walked past this restaurant/bar, and she said she had always wanted to try it. So we stopped, thought about it, and walked in. Next thing we know, we're sitting at the bar, having drinks bought for us, and I have a potential client for freelance writing.

Simple coincidence? Unlikely. I found exactly what I was looking for - a work opportunity and a very good professional contact - exactly when I needed it, when I followed my instinct and walked into what some would call an unlikely place for a "divine" encounter.


After the preceding long detour and moral story, Mom and I went and filled out an application with the Portland Renters Service. They run background and credit checks on potential renters on behalf of landlords. Apparently if you're a convicted felon - even if you've been out of trouble for 20 years - they won't rent to you. I guess I'll have to find some place to put that kid I took last year. Is kidnapping a felony?

Lastly, we drove over to the SW Community Center and Pool, where I should be able to start lifeguarding (grimace) after I finish my E&A guarding course in a couple of weeks. Boy, that's going to be a fun one - sitting through an entire four-day course on how to do something that I've been doing for six years, all because I have a certification through the Red Cross and not Ellis & Associates, which Portland uses. Can't they just teach me how they do spinals differently? Apparently not...

Wish me luck on that one, and let the boredom begin!

Once I'm enlightened, maybe I'll realize an infinite realm of possibility even in something like that.

OH! I almost forgot the most important part of the day. We went out to lunch with the Best Friend at this killer Lebanese restaurant called Habibi. It's on 10th and Madison downtown in P-town. We had the ground beef kebab (ketsitsot in Hebrew) on seasoned rice, with salad and really yummy turkish coffee and baklava for dessert.

Having lived in the Middle East, my standards for food claiming to be from that area are quite high, and I am proud to say that Habibi tasted VERY authentic.

Now I'm going to call the boy and see if I can't reschedule our "date"** to coffee tomorrow morning. Is that totally horrible? I'm just so fried! And I'd rather see him when I'm at 100% and not when I'm fighting just to stay awake - especially when this is only "date" number 2.

**Status of meetings unclear. Could be date, could be casual. He's been texting A LOT. Does that make it more serious? Is there some kind of booklet that will tell me this kind of stuff? Where is it?

Sore...And Happy

Just went and worked out. It felt so good.
Especially when I'm really busy, I resist going to exercise, thinking that I'd prefer to stay home and keep working. But I find that once I actually go and loosen my mind and move my body, I become ten times more productive once I come back to the work.
I don't know what it is - maybe the simple, rhythmic movement of my feet on the treadmill, the blood pumping faster through my system, the rapid breathing and increased oxygen flow to my brain. I do know physiologically that when we work out, our bodies release endorphins to address the stress to our muscles, and I know this is proven to lift the mood, but I always forget and keep resisting the workout.
But, DEAR LORD, it feels so good.

I have a meeting in Portland tomorrow morning with Tim Phillips, the CEO and founder of Phillips & Co., a local wealth management firm. I originally met him and his "guys" (employees) at a bar Jena and I went to near her work in downtown Portland. She and I were sitting pretty at the bar, and the bartender came over to us and, as if we were in a movie, said very suave-ly that the gentlemen at the corner of the bar wanted to buy us drinks.
Those gentlemen happened to be the core of this firm for which the CEO now wants me to do some freelance marketing writing. So we chatted and charmed, and I got a gig out of it.

It's very exciting! Money! More experience! Woohoo!

So I'm going to meet with Tim tomorrow to discuss the details.

Wish me luck!

Oregon Shmoregon

So, this blog, through no fault of its own, just sputtered out and died. It was sad.

It's now being redeemed, born again, as it were, like the Hebrews through the Red Sea, or my own reincarnation as a potato bug five hundred years ago on the Great Plains. (Buffalo stepped on me. Wasn't pretty.)

Yayin Tov was about my journey of a lifetime to Israel - really about my life - but writing about it began to bore me after a while.

Now I'm back in Oregon, a statement I never thought I would be saying so soon - and certainly not with so much satisfaction. But I am. And I'm loving it. See, Yayin Tov, which means good wine in Hebrew, is a symbol of the finer things in life - love, family, best friends, good food, good drink, stunning sunsets and those little happy moments in life in which you sit back and sigh, "Because life IS GOOD."

Now I'm on track to go to medical school - because I figure I've had so many good things in my life, I just need to punish myself so that I'll appreciate them. Just kidding.

But I am going to medical school. I start classes January 5 at Portland Community College - Biology and Math 111 - the first of my MANY prerequisites for med school. Life is amazing. If you would have told me ten years ago that I was going to be studying my brains out, voluntarily taking math and science classes or taking the MCATs, I would have laughed heartily in your face and told you to lay off the grass.

But here I am.

I'm also moving up to Portland early next week, renting a room in a cute and BIG house in charming John's Landing. I still can't believe the deal I got - a room in a fully furnished three-bedroom house (not apartment) - with a REALLY SWEET and FUN roommate who's doing her pharmacy residency at OHSU. And all of that for only $500 / month. It's amazing really, so amazing in fact that I about gave my mom a stroke when I took the room - because I was jobless.

I'm still semi-jobless, thanks to a stupid economy, but I will be lifeguarding again, which I also never thought I'd say. Lifeguards are just lazy college dropouts who can't get real jobs, right?

The universe has a sense of humor apparently, and it's laughing as I eat my words.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008)

Low on hope? Think the world is about to destroy itself? Ok, you're probably not thinking that, but this incredible video will make you smile nonetheless. Click here for more information and background.

I'm on a Where the Hell is Matt? binge!

Ok, so I've been trying to post a video from YouTube onto my blog for the last couple of days, and it doesn't seem to be working. I guess I love it so much and want to share it so badly with the world, that I'll just give you the link and you can check it out yourself.

Where the Hell is Matt?

You can read all about it here

What a beautiful picture of humanity! I love it!!!

Which Superhero are You?

I took the "Which Superhero are You?" test. Apparently I'm Superman. I always liked him. Mild-mannered, with a tendency to wear blue tights and fly around rescuing people.
But I also apparently have flashes of Wonder Woman (naturally), Spider Man (I hate spiders, but give me Toby Maguire all wet and hanging upside down ready for a kiss any day) and the Flash (Too quick for you!!!)
Kudos to dad for the tip.
Your results:
You are Superman
Superman 85%
Wonder Woman 77%
Spider Man 70%
The Flash 70%
The Green Lantern 70%
Supergirl 67%
Catwoman 65%
Robin 64%
Iron Man 60%
Batman 55%
Hulk 40%
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

"Victory is for the one...who has no thought of himself."

Into a soul absolutely free
From thoughts and emotion,
Even the tiger finds no room
To insert its fierce claws.

One and the same breeze passes
Over the pines on the mountain
And the oak trees in the valley;
And why do they give different notes?

No thinking, no reflecting,
Perfect emptiness:
Yet therein something moves,
Following its own course.

The eye sees it,
But no hands can take hold of it -
The moon in the stream.

Clouds and mists,
They are midair transformations;
Above them eternally shine the sun and the moon.

Victory is for the one,
Even before the combat,
Who has no thought of himself,
Abiding in the no-mind-ness of Great Origin.

From the Tao of Jeet Kune Do.

"For the first time, I really did feel Israeli."

Life is a precarious thing, and not just in Israel. Just down the border in Gaza, six people died recently in a bombing (for once, not blamed on us), five people drowned this weekend off the Israeli coast, a very sweet, good friend of mine in the States died last week and I nearly got hit by a car tonight on my bike, a split-second experience that took my breath away with its proximity to tragedy. (My proximity to tragedy).

I've often wondered what this very thin line is that separates us from death. What is it that keeps my heart pumping blood through my body and my lungs taking in oxygen and my cells working doing whatever it is they do? What keeps me on THIS side - where I'm alive, with friends and family and a stable job and air in my lungs, instead of on THAT side - where I'm six feet under?

What separates me from, say, Gilad Shalit, the Israeli soldier still sitting somewhere in that shithole called Gaza? Or from Karnit Goldwasser - the wife of Ehud Goldwasser, one of the kidnapped soldiers whose body was just returned two weeks ago to Israel in a black box after being somewhere in Lebanon for two years? Why them and not me?

But it's not so simple. Tonight, I rode my bike down to Dizengoff to return a video to Dizi (a really cool video store slash laundromat slash cafe where you can rent a movie (and a laptop) and order something to eat while you do your laundry). On the way, i passed through Rabin Square, where a rally last week was held for and by Gilad's platoon, which was being discharged, for his release. A graffiti-ed message said,

"We are all in this together."

Which is really what it is after all in this country. Almost two weeks ago I sat, glued to the computer screen, as Ehud's and Eldad's bodies were being returned to Israel (no one knew up to that point whether they were alive or dead). I felt so sad, so heavy and so grieved over the tragedy of it all. That night, a new immigrant I met asked me if I felt Israeli after being here for almost two years. I knew the answer almost without thinking: "You know," I said to her, "this morning, for the first time, I really did feel Israeli."

I told this to an Israeli friend the next evening, and he said, "With what happened, you actually felt what it was like to be an Israeli." And then we went back to our appetizers.